I can’t think of many songs written about furniture. Leave it to Paul Heaton and David Rotheray to write a song about a table. And make you want to listen to it over and over.

Enjoy The Table by The Beautiful South.

This table has four sturdy legs
And a heart of very near wild oak
When others would have screamed out loud, my friend
This one never even spoke

Chorus:
I’ve been sat upon
I’ve been spat upon
I’ve been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher
When someone thinks they’re dead
I’ve been dined upon
I’ve been wined upon
I’ve been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk
when they should have been at school

This table’s been pushed against the wall
When tempers, well tempers flare at night
Banged upon with knuckles clenched my friend
When someone thinks that they are right

Repeat Chorus

Tables only turn when tables learn
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
Treat me with some dignity
Don’t treat me like a slave
Or I’ll turn into the coffin in your grave

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If you have a favorite song that features entertaining or clever lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.