Being the ninth Lyric of the Week, I thought this week’s song should be about nothing (the theme for this week’s Nickel Quiz was “Nein,” which is German for “no”). While Del Amitri is better known for songs like Roll To Me and Not Where It’s At, this is the song that gets me singing along in the car every time it comes up randomly on the iPod.

Enjoy Nothing Ever Happens by Del Amitri.

Post office clerks put up signs saying ‘position closed’
And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats
And janitors padlock the gates
For security guards to patrol
And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink
While the married ones turn on a chat show

And they’ll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Gentlemen time please, you know we can’t serve anymore
Now the traffic lights change to stop, when there’s nothing to go
And by five o’clock everything’s dead
And every third car is a cab
And ignorant people sleep in their beds
Like the doped white mice in the college lab

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the song
And we all sing along like before

And we’ll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Telephone exchanges click while there’s nobody there
The Martians could land in the car park and no one would care
Closed-circuit cameras in department stores
Shoot the same movie every day
And the stars of these films neither die nor get killed
Just survive constant action replay

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the song
And we all sing along like before

And we’ll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

And bill hoardings advertise products that nobody needs
While “Angry from Manchester” writes to complain about
All the repeats on TV
Computer terminals report some gains in the values of copper and tin
While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs
For the price of a hospital wing

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
The needle returns to the start of the song
And we all sing along like before

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all
They’ll burn down the synagogues at six o’clock
And we’ll all go along like before

And we’ll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.

This week’s song is just the sort of song that makes me think clever-turn-of-phrase. Its clever referencing of famous songs featuring numbers reminds of the way songs like Reunion‘s Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me) and Don McLean‘s American Pie referenced other artists.

Enjoy Plus Ones by Okkervil River.

No one wants to hear about your ninety-seventh tear,
so dry your eyes or let it go uncried, my dear.
I am all out of love to mouth into your ear,
and not above letting a love song disappear
before it’s written.

And no one wants a tune about the hundredth luftballoon
that was seen shooting from the window of your room,
to be a spot against the sky’s colossal gloom
and land, deflated, in some neighbor state that’s strewn
with ninety-nine others.

Eight Chinese brothers;
well, there’s a reason why the last is smiling wide
and sitting higher than the others,
swinging his arms.

You would probably die before you shot up nine miles high,
your eyes dilated as light plays upon the sight
of TVC16 as it sings you goodnight.
Relaxed as hell and locked up in cell 45,
I hope you’re feeling better.
The fifty-first way to leave your lover,
admittedly, doesn’t seem to be
as gentle or as clean as all the others,
leaving its scars.

All in the after hours of some Greenpoint bar,
I told you I can’t listen, baby, about the fourth time you were a lady,
and how your forthrightness betrayed a secret shyness,
stripped away by days of being hailed as “Your Highness.”
And what’s new, pussycat, is that you were once a lioness;
they cut your claws out.

Kitten, not everyone’s keen on lighting candle seventeen.
The party’s done. The cake’s all gone. The plates are clean.
The chauffeur’s leering from the cheerless mezzanine.
And, in just one year, the straight world can pay to see
what they’ve been missing.

You were caught kissing eight Chinese brothers,
but there’s a reason why the last is smiling wide and sitting higher than the others,
stinking with charm.

And he says, “Lets get lost, let them send out alarms.”
He says, “Let’s get crossed out and come to harm”
“Lets make the world’s stupidest stand and truly mean it
Let’s hit the limit of loss over lover’s arms
No, lets exceed it”

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.

Great imagery and clever phrasing abound in this song from a band that you’ve probably never heard. Consider yourself informed now and please check out the rest of their power pop discography.

Enjoy When I Die by Parallax Project.

When I die
I wanna come back as your bass guitar
Hold me in your arms
Bounce me off your hip
Tune me up, pluck my strings
‘Til my body sings
‘Til it moans and sings

I could be your instrument
And dying wouldn’t be so hard
If I come back
When I come back
I come back as your bass guitar

When I die
I wanna come back as your steering wheel
Right between the fingers of your
Black leather gloves
You can spin me all around
If you get lost, I’ll get you found
Taking you back
Homeward bound

I could be your navigator
And dying could have some appeal
If I come back
When I come back
I come back as your steering wheel

When I die
I wanna come back as the color green
Cool, lush, and wild
Dip your brush in carefully
Coat your bedroom walls with me
Up and down, use me
Generously

I’d reflect your every mood
And dying won’t be what it seems
If I come back
When I come back
I come back as the color green

When I die

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining or clever lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.

I’ll admit that I’m not a fan of modern country music. Classic country? Sure. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but the current crop of Billy Rays and Billy Bobs just don’t do it for me. However, when I first heard this week’s song, its clever chorus hooked me in and I was sold.

Enjoy Merry Go ‘Round by Kacey Musgraves.

If you ain’t got two kids by twenty-one
You’re probably gonna die alone
Least that’s what tradition told you
And it don’t matter if you don’t believe
Come Sunday mornin’
You’d best be there in the front row like you’re s’posed to
Same hurt in every heart
Same trailer, different park

Chorus:
Mama’s hooked on Mary Kay
Brother’s hooked on Mary Jane
And Daddy’s hooked on Mary two doors down
Mary, Mary quite contrary
We get bored, so we get married
Just like dust, we settle in this town
On this broken merry go ’round and ’round and ’round we go
Where it stops nobody knows
And it ain’t slowin’ down
This merry go ’round

We think the first time’s good enough
So we hold on to high school love
Sayin’ we won’t end up like our parents
Tiny little boxes in a row
Ain’t what you want, it’s what you know
Just happy in the shoes you’re wearin’
Same cheques we’re always cashin’ to buy a little more distraction

Chorus

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
We’re so bored until we’re buried
Just like dust, we settle in this town
On this broken merry go ’round
Merry go ’round

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Jack burned out on booze and pills
And Mary had a little lamb
Mary just don’t give a damn no more

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining or clever lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.

The first time that I heard this week’s song, I knew it was something special. The way it follows the history of a thoroughfare, from boom to bust, is storytelling at its best.

Enjoy Telegraph Road by Dire Straits.

A long time ago came a man on a track
Walking thirty miles with a sack on his back
And he put down his load where he thought it was the best
Made a home in the wilderness

He built a cabin and a winter store
And he ploughed up the ground by the cold lake shore
And the other travellers came walking down the track
And they never went further, no, they never went back

Then came the churches, then came the schools
Then came the lawyers, then came the rules
Then came the trains and the trucks with their load
And the dirty old track was the Telegraph Road

Then came the mines, then came the ore
Then there was the hard times, then there was a war
Telegraph sang a song about the world outside
Telegraph Road got so deep and so wide
Like a rolling river

And my radio says tonight it’s gonna freeze
People driving home from the factories
There’s six lanes of traffic
Three lanes moving slow

I used to like to go to work but they shut it down
I’ve got a right to go to work but there’s no work here to be found
Yes, and they say we’re gonna have to pay what’s owed
We’re gonna have to reap from some seed that’s been sowed

And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold
You can hear them singing out their telegraph code
All the way down the Telegraph Road

Well, I’d sooner forget, but I remember those nights
Yeah, life was just a bet on a race between the lights
You had your hand on my shoulder, you had your hand in my hair
Now you act a little colder like you don’t seem to care

But just believe in me baby and I’ll take you away
From out of this darkness and into the day
From these rivers of headlights, these rivers of rain
From the anger that lives on the streets with these names
‘Cause I’ve run every red light on memory lane
I’ve seen desperation explode into flames
And I don’t wanna see it again

From all of these signs saying “Sorry but we’re closed”
All the way down the Telegraph Road

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining or clever lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.

It took a call to the twitterverse to remind me of the brilliance of Jellyfish. So many great songs for such a short-lived band, how do you choose? Thankfully, I didn’t have to choose.

Big thanks to Rich Horton (@PurePopPub) for this week’s suggestion.

Enjoy New Mistake by Jellyfish.

Curtain opens, spotlights the gentleman
Signing his love letter “Best wishes, Simpleton”
Dialog swam from his pen like pollywogs
He knew better that perfume was gravity
Pulling him closer to what could be tragedy
Love is blind, deaf and dumb, but never mind

You better catch me when I fall
I’m on my roller skates
‘Cause any ole way that I fall
I land in your arms even though it’s wrong
‘Cause I love my new mistake

Intermission gave way to a miracle
The birth of an accident grew to a spectacle
That couldn’t wait
The mother was three weeks late
So Father Mason clutching his crucifix
Baptized the baby in whiskey and licorice
What a lovely way
Drowning sins in tooth decay

Looks like our hero’s gonna fall
The bough’s about to break
‘Cause any ole way that I fall
I’ll be in your arms as we lie awake
With our lovely new mistake

You better catch me when I fall
My sugar trampoline
‘Cause any ole way that I fall
I land in your arms even though it’s wrong
‘Cause I love my new mistake

The ending turned tragic when many years later
The baby had grown up and married a pop singer
I guess it was her turn to make (her first mistake)

Any ole time at all
Any ole way that I fall
Any ole time at all
Any ole way that I fall
Any ole time at all
Any ole way that I fall
I just lie awake with my new mistake

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song.

This week’s song is by one of my all-time favorite bands when it comes to a lyric with a nice turn-of-phrase. To this day, Chris Difford is still among the best lyricists of the last fifty years. This one was the title track to 1993’s Some Fantastic Place and it’s about an eternally optimistic friend of both Difford and Glenn Tilbrook who died of leukemia. While it’s sad and frequently gets me choked up, having lost much family and friends to cancer over the years, it’s one of those songs that assists in the grieving process, and helps to heal the deep wound left after a devastating loss.

Enjoy Some Fantastic Place by Squeeze.

She gave to me her tenderness
Her friendship and her love
I see her face from time to time
There in the sky above

We grew up learning as we went
What a voyage our life could be
It took us through a wilderness
Into the calmest sea

Her smile could lift me from the pain
I often found within
She said some things I won’t forget
She made a few bells ring

So simple her humility
Her beauty found in grace
Today she lives another life
In some fantastic place

She showed me how to raise a smile
Out of her bed of gloom
And in her garden sanctuary
A life began to bloom.

She visualized a world ahead
And planned how it would be
She left behind the strongest love
That lives eternally

I have the hope that when it’s time
For me to come her way
That she’ll be there to show me round
Whenever comes that day

Her love was life and happiness
And in her steps I trace
The way to live a better life
In some fantastic place

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song. Maybe we’ll feature it in a future installment.

In an effort to make Suitcase Full of Dimes as much about discovery as it is about jogging the memory of the familiar, every Sunday I’ll be posting lyrics to a song that I find has a nice turn of phrase, an entertaining story line, or is just plain fun to sing along to in the shower or on the morning commute.

Since it’s a Sunday, this week’s song is one of those great songs to sing along to on the radio. I especially love the “ta ta ta ta’s” near the end.

Enjoy Pleasant Valley Sunday by The Monkees.

The local rock group down the street
Is trying hard to learn their song
They serenade the weekend squire
Who just came out to mow his lawn

Another Pleasant Valley Sunday
Charcoal burning everywhere
Rows of houses that are all the same
And no one seems to care

See Mrs. Gray, she’s proud today
Because her roses are in bloom
And Mr. Green, he’s so serene
He’s got a TV in every room

Another Pleasant Valley Sunday
Here in status symbol land
Mothers complain about how hard life is
And the kids just don’t understand

Creature comfort goals
They only numb my soul
And make it hard for me to see
My thoughts all seem to stray
To places far away
I need a change of scenery

If you have a favorite song that features entertaining lyrics which you’d like to see featured as a Lyric of the Week, drop me a line in the comments (or email me at ed@suitcasefullofdimes.com) and tell me what you find special about the song. Maybe we’ll feature it in a future installment.